European English :> The European Commission has just announced an agreement
>whereby English >will be the official language of the European Union rather
>than German, >which was the other possibility.>> As part of the
>negotiations, the British Government conceded that English >spelling had
>some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in >plan that
>would become known as "Euro-English".>> In the first year, "s" will replace
>the soft "c". Sertainly, this will >make the sivil servants jump with joy.
>The hard "c" will be dropped in >favour of "k". This should klear up
>konfusion, and keyboards kan have one >less letter. There will be growing
>publik enthusiasm in the sekond year >when the troublesome "ph" will be
>replaced with "f". This will make words >like fotograf 20% shorter.>> In
>the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
> >reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are
>possible.>> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
>have always >ben a deterent to akurate speling.>> Also, al wil agre that
>the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is >disgrasful and it
>should go away.>> By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
>as> replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".>> During ze fifz yer, ze
>unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining >"ou" and after ziz fifz
>yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.>> Zer vil be no mor trubl or
>difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu >understand ech oza. Ze drem of a
>united urop vil finali kum tru.>> Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
>speking German like zey vunted in ze >forst plas.>> If zis mad you smil,
>pleas pas on to oza pepl
>whereby English >will be the official language of the European Union rather
>than German, >which was the other possibility.>> As part of the
>negotiations, the British Government conceded that English >spelling had
>some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in >plan that
>would become known as "Euro-English".>> In the first year, "s" will replace
>the soft "c". Sertainly, this will >make the sivil servants jump with joy.
>The hard "c" will be dropped in >favour of "k". This should klear up
>konfusion, and keyboards kan have one >less letter. There will be growing
>publik enthusiasm in the sekond year >when the troublesome "ph" will be
>replaced with "f". This will make words >like fotograf 20% shorter.>> In
>the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
> >reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are
>possible.>> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
>have always >ben a deterent to akurate speling.>> Also, al wil agre that
>the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is >disgrasful and it
>should go away.>> By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
>as> replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".>> During ze fifz yer, ze
>unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining >"ou" and after ziz fifz
>yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.>> Zer vil be no mor trubl or
>difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu >understand ech oza. Ze drem of a
>united urop vil finali kum tru.>> Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
>speking German like zey vunted in ze >forst plas.>> If zis mad you smil,
>pleas pas on to oza pepl
